The pattern's drafted and the prototype's next. Pre-order. No payment today.
1 of 6 Front. Natural linen, oxide drawcord, stitched 200° at the hem.2 of 6 Back. Reads as shorts from here too.3 of 6 The pocket, on the liner, with the shell cut away.4 of 6 What sits between the pack and the room, and between the pack and you.5 of 6 The pack and the sleeve, to scale.6 of 6 What comes in the box.
These are drawings from the v0.1 pattern, not photos. Prototype render. Final product may differ.
Pre-order · Not yet made
The StandardIssue
Linen sauna shorts with a hidden pocket for a cold pack. 5" inseam, cotton liner, sizes S to XL.
$68 with two cold packs. $54 without. First-batch prices. No payment today.
Choose a setup and a size.
No payment today. We take your email and hold your choice. No card, no charge.
We're aiming for summer 2027. We'll confirm a real date before we take any money.
When deposits open, it's $10 a pair, refundable any time before it ships. Refunds.
US only for the first batch. Shipping and tax confirmed by email before you pay.
The pack sits behind fabric. Never put a frozen pack directly on bare skin. If you go numb, take it out. Heat isn't for everyone. Leave when you want to.
Not ready? Get the test results by email.
Received. You'll hear from us when there's something real to report.
Standard operatingprocedure.
The night before
Put a pack in the freezer. This is the hardest part, and you'll forget at least once.
On the way
Carry it in the bag. The Lunch Pail is a wool felt sleeve made for this. It's optional, like lunch.
In the hall
Change, and leave the gym kit behind. Slide the pack into the pocket on the liner. Then sit down, on a towel, on the job.
Clocking out
Leave when you want. Nobody's keeping time, and there's no medal. Pack back in the freezer, shorts in the wash.
The pack sits behind fabric. Never put a frozen pack directly on bare skin. If you go numb, take it out. Heat isn't for everyone. Leave when you want to.
Specificationsof the job.
All of this is the plan. Nothing is final until a prototype has been sewn and sat in.
The cold pack has a plastic film. The shell blend is still being sampled: washed linen, linen/cotton or linen/Tencel. We won't state a final percentage until it's real.
Against your skin
A cotton liner. No polyester next to your skin, and we mean exactly that much. The film and the pack exist, and they sit behind fabric.
Origin
Origin to be confirmed before production. We'll state it here.
Planned specifications of the Standard Issue short
Cut
Running short, 5" inseam, side splits at the hem
Sizes
S, M, L, XL (waist 29 / 32 / 35 / 38, hip 37 / 40 / 43 / 46)
Shell
Washed linen, about 130 to 200 g/m²
Waistband
1.25" covered elastic plus cotton drawcord
Liner
Cotton, brief-style
Pocket
Front of the liner, hidden. Outside in: cotton face, wool felt, reflective film. The insulation faces away from your body.
Cold pack
Soft and freezable, about 4.5" x 4". Type not chosen yet.
Details
Natural linen, oxide drawcord, stitched 200° at the hem
Wash care
Planned: pack out first, wash cold with like colors, hang dry. Linen wrinkles. The Local considers that seniority.
In the box
Full Benefits: the short and two cold packs. Basic Coverage: the short. Also planned for both: a bag with a patch on it and a printed bench card of the Bylaws. Add-ons as ordered.
We can't tell you it helps.We can tell you it's cold.
The membership has been informed.
We make no claim about what this does for you. It's clothing. Cooling is untested. One informal experiment by Alex: a bare cold pack, in a room at about 200°, warm in about 15 minutes. The goal for the pocket is a full round of about 15 to 20 minutes. We test next and post it, bad news included.
Cold test: pack over one round. Our own test, when it happens. Method, room and bad results included.
How coldMinutes in the roomAwaiting data
Objections, so far.
“I will look ridiculous.”
You are sitting in a very hot closet with strangers, on purpose. That ship has sailed. These are designed to read as ordinary shorts from three feet away, and nobody has to know what's in the pocket. That's a goal until the prototype is on a body in a room. When it is, we'll post the picture, flattering or not.
“Why not wrap a pack in a towel?”
It's free and it's a perfectly good idea, right up until you stand up. What you're paying for is a pocket: it stays put, it stays hidden, and the goal is that nothing drips on the bench. If the towel works for you, the Local has no quarrel with the towel.
“Why not my regular shorts?”
You can. They've already done legs, a bus seat and the floor of your car. Most gym shorts are polyester. Ours are a linen shell and a cotton liner against your skin, and they only go to one place, so they stay clean. Per Article VII, the gym kit stays in your locker. It has done enough.
“Does it stay cold?”
We don't know yet. Alex once took a bare cold pack into a hot room, informally, and it went warm in about 15 minutes at about 200°. That's the problem, and the wool felt and reflective film are the plan. The goal is a full round of about 15 to 20 minutes. It's a goal. We test next and publish what happens, including if it doesn't.
“What about the bench?”
A bench is a shared workplace. The pack lives inside a pocket inside a short, so the goal is no drips on it, which we'll confirm in testing. Either way, sit on a towel. All of you, on the towel. That one isn't a joke and it's in the bylaws.